Divorce can be a long and exhausting process. Now that yours is behind you, you undoubtedly are looking forward to starting the next chapter of your life. You also want to focus on being an effective parent. Your ex, though, may have different ideas entirely.
According to Psychology Today, parental alienation can be one form of child abuse, as it harms the emotional well-being of kids. Any actions that aim to turn your children against you might constitute parental alienation, including your ex’s demand that your kids spy on you.
You have a right to parent as you see fit
If you share custody of your children with your ex-spouse, you generally have broad flexibility to parent as you see fit. Unfortunately, if your ex has your children spy on you, you might not be able to do so. This is especially true if your ex tells your kids you need monitoring because you are doing something wrong.
You should be able to live your life
Your former spouse might discuss personal details of your life with your children. In addition to making you feel uncomfortable, your kids might believe you are a bad or untrustworthy person. You also may feel pressure to change your behaviors to keep your ex from receiving bad reports about you.
You must collect evidence
Parental alienation can be difficult to document. Still, if your ex has asked your kids to spy on you, you should gather as much evidence as you can. Text messages from your ex to your children might do the trick. Also, you should listen to what your children say about their other parent.
Because parental alienation runs counter to the best interests of your children, no judge is likely to tolerate it. Ultimately, if you have evidence of your ex’s bad behaviors, you might be able to pursue judicial intervention.