Tips for communicating with your spouse during divorce

You did not get married realizing that you would eventually get divorced. But this is a common experience for many couples.

According to the American Psychological Association, between 40 and 50% of married couples in the U.S. decide to end their marriage at some point. If you are going through a divorce, the way you communicate with your spouse during this process can impact how quickly and easily you come to terms on issues like property division, child custody and spousal support.

Focus on the issues

You may feel betrayed, hurt, angry, resentful and sad as you work through the divorce process. Although you may have heightened emotions on this time, put your feelings aside when speaking to your spouse and focus on the issues at hand.

Set clear boundaries

You and your spouse are likely very familiar with one another, so setting communication boundaries can be a tricky process. Set up a plan for how often you will speak to your spouse about divorce-related issues and in what format, whether this is through email, in-person meetings or phone calls.

Watch your tone

You may want to raise your voice or be sarcastic when talking to your spouse. Try to stay calm and use a businesslike tone when discussing your divorce.

Try not to think about talking to your spouse as a battle. Although it may be hard to maintain your composure, establishing good communication can prevent name calling, yelling, information withholding and other behaviors that can make settling your divorce difficult.